Lonneke Engel Next
Birth Day: June 14, 1981
Born in Eindhoven, Holland
Measurements: 32-25-35
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At the head of her class, Lonneke excels in school and already speaks five different languages. Enjoys horseback riding in her spare time. Wants to one day become an airline pilot.

<lp|bd> hey guys i had a dream that i met kap last night it was really wierd
<lp|bd> he looked like neil petroski with bleeched hair
<lp|kane> so basically
<lp|kane> lets sum this up
<lp|kane> you had a dream about a man
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To prove that I really am Kane | - 11.30.1999
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Oxanna: Good welcome citizens. It is with the highest honor and the greatest joy that I bring you Kane.

Kane: This morning was the most glorious morning in the history of the Earth. Peace is upon us. A gift to every man woman and child from the Brotherhood of Nod. Victory, not just for our people, but for our species. The time for questioning is over, rising from our trenches, our bunkers, our factories, we must all now partake in the technology of peace. One vision, one purpose. Tiberium is the way and the life. Today the sun rises on a new world and a new people. The end is the beginning.

Ahh that brings a tear to my eye. Honestly that had to be the best Kane speach in the C&C series...so far. You know, thats why I'm working on a Twilight site, the "so far."
[-lp-]Kane41


Bah | - 11.30.1999
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Bah that's nothing...but I have one thing to say about this whole situation:

Is Alkaline's position as vice-webmaster...
A) An act of god
B) Blind luck
C) A mispirt
or D) All of the above!

It is also important to note that none of you classifies as god. so there :)
Jaguar


Jaguars Gas | - 11.30.1999
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I got more quotes so neh =P
First on my list is one I rembered during spanish class while my teacher bitched about fossil fuels.

I'd like to share a revelation that I've had, during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure.
--The Matrix


The Next one came to me while I was sitting at the girl I made the cookies for house when the competion walked in.

I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover whom she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French Underground.
--Top Secret!


Heres one I rembered while Competion was talking.

It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.
--Full Metal Jacket


And lastly, My nightly SignOff
What Have we learned tonight?
1. Marv will die
2. I dont have a competetive spirit, but by God ill kick ass for this girl.

Presto


*sniff* Whats that smell? | - 11.30.1999
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Deuce Bigaloo is gonna be a kick ass movie.
Time to get some things off my chest.
1. Telefags suck.
2. Telefags web admin sucks more cuz he banned me from the irc chat when I asked "when the hell do i get cnc2.com"
3. Marv sucks even hard when he tells me to go fluk off on /del/null/, I replied with a "its better then /marvs/mom/"
4. telefags suck
5. telefags suck.
Btw, for those of you who do not know who telefags are, theyre the dumbasses who hosted cnc2.com before they deleted it. /del/null/ by marv = /ins/virii/ by presto.

Gotta run, got things to do, people to kill, Thanx Internic!!
Presto


I ain't outta gas...yet | - 11.30.1999
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no no, not the type of gas people like TheShadow produce every 10-20 seconds, but that nifty fuel that...er...powers...our...um...lives. Jesus that sounded corny =/ but anyway, unlike some people, I don't to Jack [dirty word goes here] like some other [insult goes here]...like...gamma...nodnuke32, apollo, etc. [evil laughter goes here]. Oh hell I admit it, I made this post just for the following quote! :D

"If you do not surrender, Persian arrows will darken the sky" - Persian Emperor Xerxes
"Excellent, we shall fight in the shade." - Spartan King Leonidas

-Battle of Thermopylae-


and let's not forget...

"check ttr biatch =)" - Kane41

and...

"post news biatch =)" - Kane41

Apparently every news updater under and...perhaps including *cring* Kane41...is his bitch...I guess warmaker is not alone :)
Jaguar


But... | - 11.30.1999
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We're a TT site, why are we affiliating with non-TT sites? what's wrong with a little lingering with the competition? You know, we're no microsoft. Then again there aren't too many TT sites...but...um...bah screw it.

No that we've used up most of el pics especialos, I will mention THIS...Kane41 has never issued a picture of his g/f...now that is a real coincidence...don't ya think? I wonder why... (/sarcasm)

"Wow, how'd you get it to work?"
"I ran a Physical Impulse Mechanical Stress Routine"
"Huh?"
"I kicked it."
"Ahh."

Jaguar


Dirty Kane.... | - 11.30.1999
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Kane41 approaches me at 9:20 with simply saying: Go visit TTR heheheh" Now I knew something was messed up and Kane41 probably posted more porn but being the nice been that I am. (besides the fact I like p0rn =) I went to this site that has gone to a complete p0rn site thanks to Kane41 =) and his slaves here at TTR. I myself think it needs a new layout and a new name. Hrmm layouts im not to good on but names hrmm how about dirty webmasters, or big nipper (fitting in with the below pic =). Hrmm I like that one =) Anyone who wants to kill me can do so by e-mailing me at Royalty@ea-central.net. Enjoy!
Royalty


Next | - 11.30.1999
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Why not contribute to this site's evolution into a porn site? Thats what I was asking myself as I took my usual look through IGN For Men. Few words are needed to describe this pic:
Didn't her mother ever tell her its not polite to point?
[-lp-]Kane41


And another thing | - 11.30.1999
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We have two new affiliates. You know you're big when huge pimp houses like Planet CNC, and CNC Renegade want to get chummy with us.
[-lp-]Kane41


Its official...I'm cool | - 11.30.1999
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Yup you read it right, your beloved webby Kane is now cool. I have an @t-twilight email address. So you..can click..here and send me an email. Please do so I can make sure it works nice nice. Hmm what else... we're going to have some new content up in a little while and I'm working on a "TTR Store" so you can buy stuff off of the site and we make money. You see, the money is for our pimping. How can a person be expected to run a gr@nd pimping operation without money? my point exactly.

Now here's something interesting...are hits jumped massively after we started posting h0t p!xors of britney spears...
[-lp-]Kane41


what the hell | - 11.30.1999
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The girl im goin for, cutie she is, had a bad car accident, broke her pelvis in 3 spots, but her car doesnt have a driver side anymore, it was pushed all the way into the passenger side. Anyway, whats the hell am i doing right now for her? BAKING COOKIES!!! (I cant help it that I can cook better then my mom, but that aint sayin much)
What is this power women have over us men?! I would like to know because im slavin over a hot oven here. (Btw, these cookies are made from scratch, im not some panzy dumbass who has to use a mix)

Got Milk?
Presto


n64 contest at planetcnc | - 11.29.1999
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there's a n64 contest over at pcnc which is kinda my baby so i'd like you to p1mp it on whatever site you work on. i want m4j0r exposure, damnit! :)
Tim


Where is the lp layout? | - 11.28.1999
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Email me. Gracias. =)
[-lp-]Oliver


regarding the lp lay-out | - 11.28.1999
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for some 0dd reason the server won't eat some of the ssi tags i used for the page, making it look a little screwed. i don't know why it doesn't work - it worked just fine on pws. i'll talk to hamma about it, so keep your eyes peeled for an actually working version.
Tim


O Despair | - 11.27.1999
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With my boyfriend Mike gone I guess its time for me to find a new...temporary... bitch to pull some tricks.

Now moving on to something totally unrelated, Tim whats yer ICQ man? I needsta talk to you about your d0p3 ass lp site. It kicks ass btw. Before I get thousands upon thousands of fans emailing me asking..."oh mighty kane where does thou hold thy secret to the mighty lp site" we ain't revealing shit till my bitch mike gets back maybe not even then..who knows?
[-lp-]Kane41


Why should I tell you? | - 11.27.1999
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Give me one good reason, hell, I like that post...sure draws fire away from me...not that there is any, of course. But anyway...it's called the Administration page Tim :) I'm sure you're smart enough to figure that out...well actually judging by your last post...I retract that statement [Ken Starr]! Although your recollection bears a striking resemblance to the Britney Spears party (of which the staff still hasn't heard of nor figured out what the hell happened)...What a coincidence :)

Quote:

i just got an email about a free pr0n channel or something and it sounds pretty cool so i might eat it.
Oh yes...that's a gem right there folks...that deserves to be in our quote generator! Now now...don't forget what Hamma said...you pr0n devouring fewl...not to mention d0pe devouring.

Be gone [tiny] Tim!

Saying something is impossible is just an excuse for not doing it
Jaguar


ok, so how do you delete post using this stupid script? (so) | - 11.27.1999
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it says (so), bitch.
Tim


nach0s? | - 11.27.1999
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right now i am pretty drunk so i figured it would be cool if 'd write a little something or something. like, how did you get drunk? well, i went to a friends b/d celeb. and drank a lot and then we went to a local club which is pretty boring and good for nothing except sc0ring 15 y/o's, which is exactly what i did and drank a lot and then i was drunk. i just got an email about a free pr0n channel or something and it sounds pretty cool so i might eat it. i think i'll just go talk to knight and yell at him or something. ought to be cool. d0pe.
Tim


bbl | - 11.27.1999
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Going on a school camp... back on Friday...

Try not to miss me that much.
[-lp-]Warmaker


I Cannot Tame Wolves | - 11.26.1999
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Alas, I have no comeback, unless of course you spell it a different way, then, yes, I do, but that's another subject entirely.

But anyway...has anyone seen apollo or nodnuke lately? they haven't done squat...and it just so happens that I was visitor 666 this morning...=/ I wonder what that means. [insane laughter goes here]

That's all I have to say for today

Yo soy un loco mofo
Jaguar


Hhhmm... | - 11.26.1999
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Hey Eric, next time you change the url of the update.cgi, make sure you tell me P:

Also, u can download that game i made a while ago HERE, haha, and btw screw the downloads page, it's siting here doing jack...

Oh, and Hamma's right, that chick does give the glorious Britney a run 4 her money.
Chris


My 2 Cents.... | - 11.26.1999
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Now people I have been watching this here for several days. And I believe tisthe time for me to get in my 2 cents. And I think you should all appreciate it.First of all let me mention I would "hit" britney spears any day. Butmy heart (ok maybe not my heart) is wherever "Melissa Joan Heart" is, Iam sure most of you remember this MJH from such shows as "ClarissaExplains It All" and more recently "Sabrina The Teenage Witch"well enough of my bitching let me show you the goods:

Hamma's Chick

I don't think anyone will disagree with me here when I say, this chick givesbrit a run for her money. Nevertheless comments are welcome, and if you wish tosee more you can write me (sorry no nude pics) I don't think there are any.. ifthere were I'd have them. Believe u me.

Oh yea and lets keep the porn links.. to a minimum. I'd like tokeep my host =)
Hamma


Well... | - 11.26.1999
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Sorry Presto, couldn't find that one pic... but I found this. =)

...and this:


[-lp-]Oliver


Counter = screwed | - 11.26.1999
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Our counter is screwed...look at it, it says just under 1000 hits...WTF?
Jaguar


The Defence Rests | - 11.26.1999
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The Defence Rests :)
Jaguar


What did i do with that rag? | - 11.25.1999
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This is Presto cuz I some moron deleted my cgi pass and kane is to lazy to rig the cgi for me.
anyway.
You morons dont know how to find GOOD pics.

Beat that. Erm. Goto the bathroom first.
beheheheh, theres rumored to be a topless picture of sexual symbol britney floating around on the internet that was taken in a UK magazine. FIND IT!!
As the "Hit Me" song came on TV for the first time, I think we all shouted "ID HIT IT!!"
[-lp-]Kane41


Overruled! | - 11.25.1999
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Say warmaker, how do you think I developed such strong wrists? ;)

anything that appeared on MTV or any channel/site of the such I hereby declare irelevant and invalid evidence. So there.

Microsoft

This company has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

If the problem persists, contact The Department of Justice.

Jaguar


Like... Whatever | - 11.25.1999
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Could we stop posting those Britney Spears pics? My wrist is getting sore... errr... only because i have to continually scroll down the page because they're so large... uhh, yeah... thats it. I havta agree with Tim tho, sometimes she is a bit of a prawn (I don't know if any non-aussies will know that that term means tho) however, I'd still give her a poke :)

It would be cool if you could upload lp, still waiting to get a host for that sorted out (hamma? :) so we could at least set it up there for a while i guess. More importantly, we got to get an underground TTR staff only pr0n collection happening, as long as our pr0n is nothing like this shit (trust me, don't click that link if your folks are around, your easially offended or your eating :)

Christmas is only a month away too, which means the presents are coming soon (altho more importantly, it means that new years is only a month and four days away, FYI they're expecting more a million ppl to be in/around sydney harbour on news years, and even if only half of those ppl are going to get pissed, think of all that alchohol) So my point was, while you're saving up to help tim out with his keyboard it's also time to start saving up for me, a couple of the things on my shopping list include this and this... so get saving.
[-lp-]Warmaker


objection, your honor! | - 11.24.1999
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ok, so she looks very jummy on these pics, but in the "crazy"-video, when she has those cheap curls in her hair, she doesn't look half as good.

new tt rumor: to boost tt sales, ea/ww have hired britney to appear naked in some of the game's fmv-s. r0ck. ;)
Tim


I beg to differ T1m | - 11.24.1999
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Hey I got a @ttr account as well...jaguar@t-twilight.com is now active, so...um...HAH! <--(that was directed at warmaker, not the peanut gallery). Speaking of which, would you, Kane41, be kind enough to switch my e-mail from my OLD @tsnnz account (which no longer works) to the new @ttr account? Tank you :)

I shall no procede to disprove Tim's statement that Britney's face isn't that pretty...Exhibit A...unthumbed for your viewing inconvenience:

strait from britneyspears.com =P


Exhibit B:

Exhibit B


I rest my case.

If ya can't beat 'em...call in the US army
Jaguar


britnah! | - 11.24.1999
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ok, that pic really makes me want to make l0ve to britney spears. man. sigh. too bad her face isn't that pretty. oh well, i'll manage ...

anyway, i need a new keyboard (ms natural kb elite usb) so if anyone in the audience feels like sucking up to me, drop me a note.

and when am i ever gonna get ftp access to this thing? i need a place to put up lp's lay-out, as well as the 100s of megs of pr0n that clutter my hd. gimme gimme gimme.
Tim


Radiospy Owns | - 11.24.1999
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I'm like a child in a candy store :) Thanks for the tip Tim, compared to the one only half decent dance station in all of Sydney, this thing is like unbelivable, even tho im only using the 24 bps stations(?) because my modem cant handle anything more, there's still plenty to chose from. I've been skimming through a few of the servers to find a favorite but there are a couple of really good ones (any favorite's Tim?) I even got to hear some remix of Hardcore Vibes, and I havn't heard that song since way back when I first started listening to dance/techno/trance. Anyway, I'm sure you all don't care...

BTW, because of the formatting, apart from my ISP mail I don't know the passwords for any of my pop3 mail accounts, so until I get my Tumsun, Warmaker etc. accounts back, email me using my TTR mail addy - warmaker@t-twilight.com. It's hot of the press, not even Kane41 (who I don't ph33r, to whoever voted the second time :) has one yet... so... ummm... yay. If you send me something that's amusing I might just post it here... altho I guess you could see that as a deterant.
[-lp-]Warmaker


Whoa Break out the Paper Towels! | - 11.23.1999
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Whoa break out the paper towels man ;) Hey...I won $20! I wonda wha's next =P

Is it just me, or does that remind you of THE Party around...oh it was Election day doesn't it? I wonder when that story will somehow present itself on this page...hey...don't look at me that way. Awe what the hell I'll post this post that I was gonna post when around electoin day when were down...damn that was a shame...

Weeeeeeeee're back...well...herm

After that fun little incident with Britney Spears and "the party" (what I would given to be there...), it seems as though Kane41 and half the staff have dissapeared. Now that's just disturbing. Although I was one of them (i just found out we were having some tech difficulties 56 seconds ago)...but anywayz back to my point...

It seems asthough this site (along with britney) was completely screwed inside and out...after 4 days of pumping out the CGI and replacing it, jurry-rigging proved to be a viable means of fixing problems...

The site was by no means dead, just kinda passed out (ya you know the connection)...but now we're back in full pump...I mean swing!
*rubs hands* Hmmmmmm...BEAT THAT! ;)

"HE HEH HEHEHE OW HEHEH HEHE OUCH HEHE PINCH HARDER FOOL HEH HEHEHE"

[NOTE: Does anyone know of a press release or article on this incident, rumor has it Kane41 and the rest of the staff missed this thing all-together ;)]
Jaguar


Screw Load Time | - 11.23.1999
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One word: Baby
[-lp-]Kane41


Stuff Happens | - 11.23.1999
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funny how that pic says "courtesy of..." warmaker, oh well must just be a coincidence right? ;)

As explained by W[i]M[p], \/\/I/\/d0\/\/5 is notorious for causing problems, and I've compiled this list, courtesy of cdc...aka cult of the dead cow (one fo the few 1337 h4x0r groups):

- Windows95 / 98 - Shit happens

- Commercial Unix - Shit happens over RPC

- Linux - When shit happens, you fix it

- FreeBSD - Shit would happen, but there's no driver for it yet

- NT - Shit wouldn't happen if you'd just spend a few months performing 300+ modifications to our default installation, you lazy sysadmin. Get your MCSE

- Windows 2000 (NT5) - Shit happens over DCOM
Oh...but that's not all...
DOS - Defunct Operating System

BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM - I Blame Microsoft

DEC - Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW - World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH -Most Applications Crash; If Not, [forgot the rest]
Sound farmiliar? Does to me.

*wonders who will be the first to post a pic of Britney Spears on the front page* *places $20 in the pile marked "Kane41"*

C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN

Jaguar


disgusting | - 11.23.1999
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Kane, you are one sick mofo. Where the hell do you get these pictures, really?
Alkaline


Danger Tim Robinson, danger! | - 11.23.1999
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hypothetically speaking, if a guy slept with a girl and 4 days after that, he'd sleep with her (younger) sister, would that be a bad thing?

on a different note, if you haven't downloaded radiospy yet, do it now. esspecially m1ke should d/l that proggie right away, since it is a great way to get your daily dose of trance/techno in dull-down-under. i'm to lazy to put up a link, so just type www.radiospy.com in your browsers little address bar. click. uhr, .. type!
Tim


Compucters Suck... | - 11.23.1999
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More correctly, Windows sucks, and so do I because I actually thought that Windows would be smart enough not to screw up my computer. Like most of you (i guess?) I installed IE 5.01 and after I re-booted. After booting Outlook Express gave me an error each time i tried to load it and wouldnt load. I re-installed outlook, reinstalled IE 5, tried all that and it didn't fix it. So paying more attention, I narrowed down the error to a dll file related to the MS Address book, so I reinstalled that and loaded Outlook again. Instead of craching right away it took a few seconds and then crashed. It was pretty much the same problem, just this time with Kernal32.dll (or something like that) as the file not working. I thought that installing Windows SE (which i had already installed) again might fix the file up... I mean after all, Windows is smart enough to realise that SE is already installed, and it'll just fix up any problems.

I was wrong. After booting again, windows wouldnt even load. "Shit" I thought as I attempted to load Safe mode. Same problem. Eventually I gave up and formatted my parition with Windows on it and an hour later here I am, downloading IE 5.01 again minus my year old 25000+ email collection (so what if I dont delete my email? :) my bookmarks (it's amazing how useful they are) and all the little changes I made to windows, also I now have to re-install all my programs and games. Silly me. Atleast I didn't loose my MP3 collection :)

I saw that guy on badassmofo too, what a champion, we definately need him for our staff, there's another a booyah pic up there at the moment, not quite the same but still pretty cool. The Relic News article was pretty good too, IMHO both BadAssMofo and Relic News are definately sites that any self respecting p1mp should visit.

Oh, and that pic wasn't my girlfriend, Eric must have mixed up the pic I sent him, with the pics that he has of his mom... a simple mistake really :) To clear things up, my gf can be seen below.


[-lp-]Warmaker


Ship that freight | - 11.22.1999
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no wonder Egypt Air 990 crashed...*ICQ's Warmaker*...hehe :)

I don't give a sh*t whether the Brazillian rain forest is cut down...to me it's all one big air freshener.
Jaguar


Poll | - 11.22.1999
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To prove that I don't slack all the time like my fellow webmester I've decided to change the poll. Oh no, I won't leave you hanging with the thrilling results from our last poll. Here they are brought to you by the letter L.

RESPONSEVOTES
Best game ever!46
Awesome44
Great36
Good44
Average17
Not that good10
Bad3
Horrible8
Worst game ever!11
Tiberian Sun?10
TOTAL229

Great huh? The new poll asks whether or not we are still lame bitches. With a click of my Logitech Wingman Gaming Mouse theres one vote for Mike ph33rs Eric.

Also, before I leave, I'd figure I'd spread the word about Warmaker's hot new girlfriend. He was kind enough to send me this pic the other day. Here we see her showing a little skin for the camera.




[-lp-]Kane41


Tasty... | - 11.22.1999
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I just noticed a disturbing coincidence in our top ladder player script...check out the names:
1. Supreme Commander Scorpi0n1
2. General Clooown
3. General Xvimmmm
well, we got one h4x0r, one ooooo guy, and one mmmmmmm guy...well that's a coincidence don't you think?

nifty

Who is the fool? The fool or the fool who follows him? - Unknown
Jaguar


Back | - 11.22.1999
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Got Jag to post this because before we went down I was actually off, so I'm off now. I hope i'll be back on soon =)Anyway, were back r0x0ring the air waves again. And I've even more content done :D. Nice posts J4g and T1m. Ah well back to p1mping =)

sweet-soothing-touchy-feely-erotic-pleasurable sounds of the daily, or the Daily Dementia!

[NOTE From Jag: I will not be held responsible for any breaches in site/staff security that may be of result of this post, thank you.]
Jaguar


The lifelong saga of pants | - 11.21.1999
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The Kanal thing is a long story...ok well not really, but I'm not gonna dig it up from the mess that was the archives, that is if they even survived the massive CGI rape...er...redo...or whatever it was *cringe*.

Wow those are the two funniest pics I've seen in a while T1m :D Then again I'm not your average p1mp such as Warmaker, Kane41, you, etc...or so I am told. On behalf of "us" here at TTR...thanks a bunch Hamma! ;)

Just for the hell of it, I feel like posting an article I ripped off Relic Newz...who's "activities" will not concern you...anyway here's the down low on the shit o' maker:
Why Homeworld is Better Than Pants

Pants. Since the beginning of time man has longed to destroy pants. Unfortunately, pro-pant sentiment has reached a crescendo in this most recent century as tinkers, tailors, soldiers, and yes, even spys have all embraced pants as a required garment. Small pockets of resistance exist but are, for the most part, overshadowed by The Big Pant Machine.

With the arrival of Homeworld on the world scene, an opportunity for the Pantsless Liberation Army exists. Using scientifically approved methods, we intend to prove the superiority of Homeworld over the scourge that The Man likes to call "pants." Hopefully, when confronted with the overwhelming evidence, the masses shall revolt, purchase Homeworld and remove their pants in a bare legged orgy of RTS gameplay.

Perhaps the most obvious advantage Homeworld offers over pants is its true three dimensional nature. The three hundred sixty degrees of freedom that Homeworld offers easily eclipses the locked down, two dimensional rigidity of pants. At best, pants offer a pseudo three dimensional mode. The easiest analogy to make would be to Digital Anvil's upcoming RTS title, Conquest: Frontier Wars. At first glance, they appear to be three dimensional but really only offer varying two dimensional layers. Observe the flat, two dimensional pants in figure 1 and the texture mapped polygon goodness that is Homeworld.


Along similar lines, Homeworld's superior audio engine easily blows pants' sonic inadequacies out of the water. While Homeworld features one of the most advanced audio engines ever devised, what do pants offer? Zip. Zilch. Zero. Sounds may emanate from substances within your pants, but the pants themselves offer no aural feedback. Figure 2 illustrates this concept quite nicely.


While less obvious, the most extreme disparity between Homeworld and pants is observed through the user interfaces each offers. Homeworld offers a truly intuitive interface requiring the use of only two hands: one on the mouse, one on the keyboard. The use of pants requires the cooperation of one's whole body. Legs and arms must be in a state of complete harmony, particularly during operations which involve the removal and installation of pants. These cumbersome operations take up valuable time that could have been better spent sending hordes of fighters against a fleet of Assault Frigates.

Pants are inherently evil. Many of history's greatest villains have worn pants; Hitler, Napoleon, and I'm sure the third Antichrist will also wear pants. This concept can be seen clearly in figure 3.


Another huge advantage in Homeworld's favour is its addictive multiplayer capability. Whether it be team play, one on one, or a free for all, Homeworld has you covered. There can be multiplayer capability around and/or in one's pants but if the majority of Homeworld fans are anything like me, they probably experience much more singleplayer in their pants. Don't get me wrong; singleplayer is entertaining but it cannot hold a candle to some hot and heavy multiplayer action. Or so I've been told. No figure exists for this concept as it would have been exceedingly graphic
(for multiplayer figure, scroll down to T1m's post).

If you're still unconvinced of Homeworld's superiority over pants after this rational, point by point analysis, I really can't think of anything else to say other than to remember the old saying, "Pantslessness is next to godliness."

-Pax
The views expressed in this article may not jive with those of the "Establishment."
and the follow-up:
A razor thin blue, vertical slash appears in the air and widens out into a roughly ovoid shape. A monitor paled, pantsless man stumbles out of the physics defying tear to be confronted by a flame war. He mutters something about pr0n, crack, and a hooker's ass before teetering back into the space-time anomaly.

Pax
Relic News - frisbee?
*snicker* Relic News can most definately contend with badassmofo.com -- hell they're current poll is "Who is your favorite pr0n star?", although technically it's not quite what you'd expect ;)

I'm off...

I love California, I practically grew up in Pheonix" - Dan Quayle
Jaguar


Wow... | - 11.21.1999
archived news - up
I'm still on the upgrading script. Thats a start I guess. First off, sorry for not being around lately but as warmaker put in one of his posts along with one of my favorite pics, my comp has been pretty much a whole fux0ring mess. Now I have reason to believe that rival TT sites haxored into my computer and sent a l337 n3w computer virus to kill me. Did I let that happen? Nope cause ...err..I wouldn't be here typing would I?

Also, just thought I'd let you know that the kid in the pic is my new hero. He will be replacing that cool cartoon guy on the lucky charms box. Yes yes I know he was your hero too.

One question though....Kanal?
[-lp-]Kane41


one bad-ass p1mp | - 11.21.1999
archived news - up
ripped from badassmofo.com, i suggest we hire the guy on this pic ...


he 0wns.
Tim


it's 0wnage, not Ownage damnit! | - 11.21.1999
archived news - up
that's right people, you're all-time fav0rite p1mp has returned from the uNd3rGr0UnD with some exclusive news regarding command and conquer renegade. various sources have comfirmed that westwood is moving renegade away from the fps (that's first-person shooter, bitch) genre, into the beat 'm up (mk alike) genre. it's unknown why westwood has decided to do so, but we did manage to get our p1mpy hands on an exclusive trailer, and we were impressed by the amount of work westwood is putting into this game. eat the soup while it's still hot!



what's with these german adds, btw?
Tim


Downtime and Stuff | - 11.21.1999
archived news - up
<Webmaster downtime message>
On behalf of the staff at TTR, I'd like to apologise for the last 17 or so days that we've been down. As Hamma explained earlier, we we're out of action because of CGI problems and because Kane41 and myself havn't been online much lately there hadn't been anyone to clear the mess up. When I got back I spent a little while trying to fix the curse that is CGI, and after failing in my attempt simply fired of an email to Oliver and Hamma (thanks guys :) asking them to check it out and fix things, and here you are. The world's (democratically chosen) favorite TS updater/webmaster is still having problems problems with his motherboard (it got recalled or something?) so you might not see him around for another few days. However knowing how all the Kane41 fans out there, especially those who are part of his fanclub must be missing him, he did send me a special treat to cheer you guys up a little (I'll talk about that later)

Now that we're back in the next few days we'll be back to the usual news, and smack talk service that we provided before the server change for your enjoyment. Also, feel free to post in our message board that are apparently working again, after all, the TTR staff enjoy nothing more than editing your messages to suit our needs. Finally sometime in the next couple of days our own world famous Tim will be posting an exclusive that he's got from Westwood. Take it from me, that's definately something to look out for.

Anyway back to that special treat that Kane41 sent me for all those Kane41 fans. He has been good enough to send me a scanned picture of himself, so now you'll all be able to know that the p1mpmasta himself looks like.

No wonder he's so popular with the ladies :)
[-lp-]Warmaker


Ownage | - 11.20.1999
archived news - up
We're back...
[-lp-]Warmaker


Oh yeah! | - 11.20.1999
archived news - up
Woo! we're back! Now I wonder where Kane41 is...
Jaguar


TTR Back In Action | - 11.20.1999
archived news - up
Hello everyone, Hamma here from EAC letting you know TTR is about back in action. I had to take a look at the news script, and there was a " missing in the CGI, thats bad news. Nevertheless the message boards are working, and Im sure that the staff will soon realise the news script is online and things will be back to normal =)
Hamma


What in Hell?!? | - 11.03.1999
archived news - up
Ok I've got Duo here to post this because well, TTR is fux0red basically for me.Last night everything said: [an error occured while processing this directive], and I questioned Jag about it:


TheShadow:Check TTR. Does everything say [error occured while processing this directive] for you?
Jaguar:Yup, Herm well that looks real nasty.
Jaguar: Let me check the FTP
TheShadow: You have FTP access!?!?!
Jaguar:yup
TheShadow: *pulls out some of hair*How long have you had that?!?
Jaguar: i don't know, ever since i've been there
TheShadow: *pulls out more hair*lemme guess 3ric gave it o you right?What do you need it for? Your a lowly news guy. I'm content!
Jaguar: no kane gave it to mewe're having cgi probs, odd, all the cgi files are there
TheShadow: *puts gun to head*I'll do it I swear!I can't believe it!
Jaguar: ok fine with me
TheShadow: I'll shoot you in a minute!
Jaguar: But i though you died?
TheShadow: That's wishful thinking
Probably not the most appropriate things said by me, but it's amazing what you can learn.After this talk with Jag, I went back here and everything was fine. Then I come back todayAnd turn up the same thing. Luckily Duo was on-line but wasn't having the same problems.

TheShadow:hey.you seen TTR?
DuoFlower:Not of late, no...
TheShadow:look at it.
DuoFlower:Um.... OK... What am I looking for here?
TheShadow:you can't miss it....
DuoFlower:It would appear that I have - what am I looking for?
TheShadow:is it ok for you?refresh and see if everything says something along the lines of [an error occured while carrying out this directive].
DuoFlower:The news script is being a bit funny.... The admin commands only give me access to your latest post, no others, and under the headlines collumn it has posts marked "today" that weren't... But no errors (I get those often, but not here)that was about three days ago.That's all I can see
TheShadow:hrm.i'll check now.nope everywhere, headlines, news script space, top ts player, counter, poll etc.[an error occured while processing this directive]
DuoFlower:What browser?
TheShadow:ie 5.0
DuoFlower:Ditto here
TheShadow:weird.
DuoFlower:Well check the page now - I just tried posting something. See if it works for you
TheShadow:ok, nope doesn't work and the news and admin scripts turn up 404's
DuoFlower:Strange.....
TheShadow:very
Can some one please shed some light on what the heck is going on here! If this is happening to other people too, then try and contect one of us. Though if you do have this problem then you might not be reading this, anyway it was wortha try to try and get something done.

When thinking about computers, Logic is overrated
Duoflower


Bah! | - 11.03.1999
archived news - up
Sod this for a laugh - is the news script playing up or am I just imagining things?
Duoflower


I wouldn't know | - 11.01.1999
archived news - up
Interesting thoughts Presto, could be possible, but as I always do I'm just going to go 'Well it might be possible.'We've had over 100 entrants for the Tumsun contest =) So now plus Homework, schoolwork, updating at Tumsun and fighting of the effects of a bad head cold ( headache, dizzy, sore throat etc ) I've gota get down all these entries. That's the way things go ;)

Fight now, Cry later
TheShadow


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