Entering Stasis | - 09.05.2020

en news - up

Good news, you're reading this. Bad news, it's static. The very ancient PHP code that underpinned this site was not pleased with a forced upgrade to a newer version of PHP per AWS. As such, our beloved website will be entering stasis for the forseeable future.

I bought C&C Remastered on Steam recently, fell immediately back in love, clocked 100+ hours pretty quickly, and that experience combined with still being able to see this site makes me smile pretty hard.

Rest assured, the 5 people who will ever read this, all original files, databases, the quotes, the babes, everything, all remain intact.

Hope everyone is well, if you need anything: eric@thunberg.com
lp.kane - 8 comments

C&C Remaster | - 03.06.2019

en news - up

I have a confession to make which is convenient to address on a location that no one will see. Despite loving the game and series and completing NOD first, I never actually completed the GDI campaign. 13 year old me got stuck on the commando mission and just moved onto playing dial up matches instead.

A couple of years back I became aware that some of the ex-Westwood team had created a new RTS, 8-bit armies. It doesn't really have the same weight for me and it lacking on the story department so I kinda lost interest and turned by self to right and old wrong.

I'm happy to say that I've resolved that issue. The news of the remaster has me pretty pumped and keen to re-do the Nod campaign in dosbox so I'm in a position to appreciate the changes.

Sound track still holds up though hey?
lp.wm - 0 comments

CNCNZ | - 03.06.2019

en news - up

It is so crazy to me that CNCNZ this site is still live - hats off to you guys. I read that Sonic has stepped down recently but pretty awesome effort to see that legacy continue.
lp.wm - 0 comments

Important Update | - 03.06.2019

en news - up

elitepimps.com is ours again! Surely that makes this the only c&c related site that has also been a porn site?

thanks Eric for the assist!
lp.wm - 0 comments

Heather! | - 03.23.2012

en news - up

It should come as no surprise, that after all these years, Heather is still the loveliest.
lp.wm - 0 comments

It Lives, Again? | - 11.28.2008

en news - up

Not long after I resurrected the site a little less than a year ago I had a server die and was forced to move everything to a new one. Unfortunately, actually setting everything up got lost in the shuffle and I never got around to it, until now that is. Call it a Thanksgiving present.

In addition, kapo spent a solid evening going through archive.org and pulling out all of the old news posts he could find. I then spent another solid evening manually importing the old posts which brings us to tonight and the hopefully last time the site has to be brought back to life.

Hope everyone is doing well and I'm sure we'll see some familiar faces as people find their way back.
lp.kane - 8 comments

It Lives... | - 12.03.2007

en news - up

Well after spending a month or so of tracking down our old host, who miraculously still had all the files / db contents, and a lucky WHOIS on the one and only Mike "warmaker" Hamel, this site lives once more. The downfall last time was a phpBB exploit which allowed someone to take over the admin account of the site and do all sorts of bad things. I've patched that though, and recreated the rough structure of the forums and most of the other parts of the site. The forum posts are all lost but it's not all bad news on that front since thanks to archive.org and kapo, we'll have most of the news posts back soon.

So as you all hopefully trickle back over to the site, be sure to post if you find anything that's broken. Also, if you have problems logging into your old account just hop on IRC (#elite-pimps on gamesurge) and I can help recover your original account. Enjoy!
lp.kane - 5 comments

CS Updates! | - 02.16.2005

cs news - up

Counter-Strike Main

4:1 - We faced "missing in action" on cpl_fire and won in a convincing 24-6 fashion. Spdy had two really nice wall shots from ct mid to t spawn, and everyone played a great game.

4:2 - We played "isolated effect" on the same map, and the result was alot different. We lost 22-8; personally I didn't play in the match but I know it was a good one.

5:1 - We played "in your eye" on de_cbble and after losing pistol round on ct, we felt distressed and couldn't gain any momentum. They won 20-10.

5:2 - We faced the #1 team in CAL-main, "precise", on cbble, and we came very close to a win. After spdy lagged out 4th round ct side, our money was screwed and we lost the half 9-6. Although this hard deficeit, we came back on t side only to lose the last 2 rounds to make it a 17-13 win for them.

6:1 - Tonight, we just recently played "providence of ascension" on dust2. After winning t side 8-7, we moved to ct side and lost a close pistol round. PoA was up 15-9 on t side, and it looked like they were going to win, but myself (seph) and spdy won a 2v5 with a deagle and famas to force the match closer to a tie. We won the remaining rounds after very clutch play from rhino securing a defuse last round. In overtime, we were ct first and rhino won another 1v1 and defused. 2nd round we also won, but we dropped 3rd round making it 2-1 us. First round t side we won, then we lost 2nd. 3rd round we took b and kane, rhino, and I won a 3v4 holding b to secure a 19-17 win.

Counter-Strike Source

6:1 - We played "silent effect" on de_contra. This was a horrible match to say the least, with kanes internet down the whole time, spdy lagging out, and bewn only playing one half. We played ct half 4v5 and t half 3v5 and lost 18-12.

7:1 - Forfeit...

Good Games to all, currently #8 in CAL-main. Wish us luck throughout the rest of the season.
sephroth - 0 comments

New Player! | - 02.02.2005

cs news - up

I'm glad to announce that Jason "fuser" Givens has joined elite pimps. He comes from CAL-invite teams such as a5 and Revolution Sports (select few). The current lineup now consists of kane, spdy, rhino, cai, fuser, and seph. We know this addition will help us greatly and we hope this furthers our chances of winning CAL-main.
sephroth - 0 comments

Updates! | - 01.31.2005

cs news - up

I'll try to do this more quickly next time so these updates won't become huge, but whatever, deal with it.

Counter-Strike Main -

2:2 - We played "just2good" on nuke for our second match of week two and just like the match before on nuke, we really stepped it up and came together as a TEAM and won 25-5.

3:1 -We played "waambulance" on train, which I'll go out on a limb and say isn't one of our best maps. After losing the first 7 ct rounds, we came back and won the next 8, which was a huge confidence booster. Going into the second half, we carried this momentum and quickly won the half 10-5, making the final score 18-12.

3:2 - We played "efeX" which is the same players that defeated us in week 1:1, "high performance". Simply put, they beat us in week 1 on a map we didn't know, then got kicked off their team, somehow got a new cal teams spot in main, and we played them again. After they won the first 7 wons, we continued our trend and won 8 straight in a row. On our t side, efeX stacked where we rushed pistol round and despite a nice effort by cai, we lost the round. After losing 8 rounds to them on our t side and only winning 1, we finally got our heads into the game, focused, and won 7 straight to force the tie and overtime. In overtime, we won all 3 ct rounds, then we switched to terrorist. We lost the first round, but in the second round overtime after some nice kills by spdy, kane, and cai we managed to get the round for the match. It was an intense game with us coming out on top, 20-16.

Currently, we our 1st in our division and 4th out of all CAL-main. We will continue to try and win all of our matches and try to win CAL-main.

Counter-Strike Source -

4:1 - Forfeit win......

5:1 - 5th match in CAL-source was against Midwest5 on de_tides (???). This was right after our long match against efeX, and although I don't want to make excuses of why we lost I think us being tired and worn out had alot to do with it. We lost the first half on tides 7-8, and then they won second half after we lost hope 14-1, making it a 22-8 loss for us. We played 2 scrims before this match and this team ONLY plays source and were good sports, so good luck to them.

I'll update more frequent, if anyone cares :) Feedback?
sephroth - 0 comments

Season Starts! | - 01.20.2005

cs news - up

Sorry for the late news, but its better than nothing. First I'll start off with Counter-Strike main.

Main:
Our first match was vs. high performance on strike, and due to us not knowing the map or practicing the map until the day of the match, we lost a close 17-13. 1:2 match was vs fonix and turned out to be a pretty fun match, with us winning 23-7. We talked with the guys from fonix and they seemed really cool, so good luck to them. Recently, on Janurary 19th, we faced Apathy and won 26-4 on nuke. Although it seems like we dominated them, many clutch rounds such as an amazing 3v5 and a 1v4 (http://www.elite-pimps.com/staff/speedy/nukect.rar) helped keep our momentum up through the match. After a BYE and a team dying, we are 4-1-0, 3rd in our division, and oddly enough, 3rd in all of CAL-main as of 1/22/05.

Source:
1:1 match on prodigy was a forfeit win since zeroping could not get 5 members on at match time. 2:1 was on aztec, and was a really stressful match. Server lag and fps lag on aztec made for a shitty combination, but clutch rounds like rhinos 1v3 lagged awp shots helped win the match, 17-13. Our 1:3 match on cbble was vs. cut4life, and after a 12-3 t side, we won ct pistol round to win the match, 21-9. The score could've been higher if we had taken it more seriously after the win, but thats okay.

So far, we are 4-1-0 in CAL-main and 3-0-0 in CAL-source. We're off to a good start, and hope to stay undefeated in source, win our division in CAL-main, and hopefully make deep runs into both playoff brackets.[/b]
sephroth - 0 comments