Carmella DeCesare Next
Birth Day: July 1, 1982
Born in Avon Lake, Ohio
Measurements: 34-24-33
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You can find a more risque gallery of Carmella here. Thanks to Steve for the idea on this one.
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Playboy Playmate of the Month - April 2003

<lp|yoo> shupa used to be gangsta back in the day =/
<lp|yoo> he used to be ripped
<lp|yoo> all my friends used to be so scared of him
<lp|yoo> i think they'd laugh if they saw him now
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Lookie here | - 09.30.2001
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Does anyone still have any machines hooked up running this? We actually weren't doing that badly. If anyone is still interested/has it running I'll put the page back up, probably.

Argh | - 09.30.2001
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I hope you all like the clock [if not go moan].

Has anyone noticed those annoying Spanish adverts on ICQ? I get enough grief from the Hispanic Bitch From Hell that is my Latin teacher without having to subconsiouly read more at home. Unfortunately the ad crack has a nasty habit of making ICQ hugly unstable - more than it is already.

Memories | - 09.29.2001
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Was sifting thru my old outlook inbox [since I changed to Eudora and it doesnt want to port the messages] and found this entertaining little article Steve Childs sent me. I don't think I ever got round to posting it. Maybe not hugly apporiate now, but does harken back to the fun times of "chad" counting. Enjoy:
To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

  • 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

  • 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

  • 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

  • 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
  • 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

  • 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
  • 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".

  • 8. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

  • 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

  • 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Thank you for your cooperation.

  • These drunken e-mails from Steve [KingZeus] are also pretty hilarious ;)

    A.I. | - 09.29.2001
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    Went to see this last friday [when it came out here]. I was quite eager to see it as it was a collaboration between easily two of the best directors of the 20th Century, and promised to draw parrallels with Dick's "Do Andriods Dream Of Electric Sheep" better known amoungst the masses as "Blade Runner" [directed by another great, Ridley Scott]. But what we were actually presented with was somewhat different.

    In the quasi-bleak future [no real date given, but one asumes the late 21st Century] a robot boy is designed and built, capable of real emotions and most notably love. Named David, he is the birth of the stories "mad professor" character, and is given to this family to "test". The mother finally grows to like David, but it is understandably hard for her. As the story unfolds the families son comes out of a coma and this section of the movie is pretty slow, merely padding out the bonds between David, his "mother" and the supertoy "Teddy" [personally my favourite character].

    Some scenes here are tedious and verging on embarrassing to watch. After an accident David is deemed unsafe and deposited in the woods. Here he is captured by a flesh fair, where they destroy 'artificality' and befriends Jigaloo Joe. The rest of the story is merely a glorified version of pinocchio and completely un inspiring, with a definite Kubrick scene involving a lamp.

    The movement of time ringing bells of Bicenntenial Man and the end portion both needless and no doubt inspired by the misadventures of HAL and co in orbit of Jupiter, it was extending the film further than it needed to be, thou it's hard to say where it would of been fitting to have ended it.

    It had potential to be more, but the whole story was woven around the simple concept of an "Epic Quest" which was really no more than 30minutes long. Unless you have the sudden urge to spend a few quid and a few hours of a night then I suggest you wait until it comes out on Sky/Cable/Whatever, or atleast rental.

    Massaging | - 09.29.2001
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    Heh, me doing work, who would of thought.

    We now have a fully functioning Random Quote script which I'm sure we'll all have fun adding things to. It's pretty obvious how to add quotes, but if your a numbnut e-mail/icq me about it.

    For the more observant of you, you may have noticed on the content pages a niggaling line underneath the news which makes it look a bit odd. This was an oversight on my part when I was re coding and chopping up the site [Yea, and where MY love for sorting out all the back [minus the uh cgi ;)] and front end stuff], but it's fixed now. Please remember to download the relavent files before you do any alterations and heed to the alteration notes at the top of the pages.

    I've changed the music, I figured just put any song[s] that you like in there, it doesn't have to be recent hits [as AC/DC so brilliantely demonstrate]. I've just noticed how a riff in WTWB sounds a hell of alot like "Bootylicious" - around 9mins Eskil.

    There won't be many more of these messages since it is actually internal stuff and I'm working on a new interior means of communication. Now for the sidebar.

    Update: Sidebar completed, just click on the heading to bring a drop down menu and click form there. I'll work on dossing it up when I get back from watching The Score.

    Lubbin | - 09.29.2001
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    The ubiquitous Lion has reached a million hits to his front page [been there, done that ;)], so go on and give him some more gratitude.

    This of course has nothing to do with the linkage he's given us ;)

    Return to Castle Wolfenstein | - 09.29.2001
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    I've been playing the one-level multiplayer test for a few days now and it's a hell of a lot of fun, granted you're playing with a good team. There's nothing quite like storming the beach with sniper-cover, taking out a few bunkers with a Panzerfaust, blowing your way in, clearing the bunkers and trenches out with a flamethrower and finishing the job with a few airstrikes.

    I'm looking forward to a multi-level test. Now if only the Allies had Tribes-like jetpacks ..

    Playlist issues | - 09.29.2001
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    I don't know who put Smooth Criminal up in our playlist, but would this very bad person please be so kind to remove it? AAF deserves some serious spanking for raping one of MJ's best songs ever.

    Also, if you liked Trance Allstars-remix of The First Rebirth, be aware: it sucks some major ass compared with the original by Jones and Stephensons. Get the real deal, it just sounds better.

    I hate covers and remixes.
    I hate being sick, too.

    The boys are back in town! | - 09.29.2001
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    Hur-ray! (There you go, Mark.) It's good to see we're finally back in action, and it's certainly good to see Mike making more posts in a few days than he's made in the past eon or so ..

    *hmr* That's about all I have to say for today. (Update: Ok, I lied.) stay tuned for more Happy Days.

    Yay, We're Back | - 09.29.2001
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    Just an exciting message from me to say "Yay, we're back in action". Look forward to exciting posts from me more frequently than in the past... hopefully.

    Happy birthday Mike! ;)

    baldurs gate II | - 09.29.2001
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    i've picked up this game again. i have this really weird playing style - i'll play this game way hardcore for like a week, and then just not touch it for two months. for those that know the game, im in chapter 5 now, that big dragon dude (adelle?) just turned me into a party of Drow so i could get some covert style operations in.

    The only way i can fault this game - compared to bg1 is the way that this game really is just set in cities. for example, in bg1 you start the game at candlekepp, trek through the ush to the friendly arm in, trek down to beregos then nashkell, and into the mines etc, meaning that you only make it to baldurs gate by about chapter 5 (or 6?) in bg2 you start in athkatla and just progress through to chapter four by staying in there - yes, you can leave the city and wander the countryside, but there's no point apart from loot and experiance.

    the other problem i have is that - in bg2 your this hardcore party of mofo's battling this god. if you walk up to a nobleman (ala bg1) they just snub you and say they want nothing to do with you. this is meant to be role playing, if a party of level 10+ adventurers enter a town, the town people should get on their knees for you!

    anyway, back to bg2 (that what i love about a two pc setup, i can type this while i continue playing) - just thought i'd have a bitch.

    linkage | - 09.29.2001
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    a new lord of the rings trailer - click! I keep timing out, i'm sure if you keep trying you'll get through eventually.

    cursor love bunny! another one of those mouse skill type games. if you beat 82.899 seconds, let me know.

    Forum Open | - 09.29.2001
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    I've decided to open the new [lp] forum. Its a return the old style WebBBS messageboard instead of a big UBB style set up. There will probably a few tweaks and changes to the new forum but its open and working.

    Oh yeah, always link to it as

    Thank you, thank you. | - 09.28.2001
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    Amazing what you can accomplish when are actually motivated. Yea, that BR thing had been bugging me ever since it was first implented, time for a change.

    Personally, I'd rather have an old skool wwwboard style forum [like Solo's for the uncoothed], opposed to a UBB style one. I think i'll set up a poll on that after stargate, not like it'll have any bearing on the final decision ;)

    The time should be in BST imho because, as we all know, the UK is the centre of the world.

    heh | - 09.28.2001
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    You guys own! Thanks Tim and YFJ for the the icq messages. It made the time it took me to connect to icq more than worthwhile. I'd send a thoughtful reply, but i currently cant re-connect to icq. Does anyone know why i recieve every icq message twice? it would be a real issue if i was ever online.

    Back to newspro - thanks to whoever set the default of converting line brakes to [br] to No... now, if only we could set it up to display the posters current time, along with the systems time when they post (or, just set the time zone for the script to gmt + 10)

    Uni goes back in three days. I've just spent the last two weeks achieving nothing. Couple of assignments due soon, and a test. My average in one subject is 14%, i have to take that to 40% in a few weeks.

    I'm currently tossing up the idea of getting a '90 300zx rather than a '97 lancer glxi in a few months. comments? it would cost a bit more, to the extent that i'd need a considerable loan - but when your spending that kind of money anyway, whats a little more?

    Hmmm | - 09.28.2001
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    Familiar settings, nothing new... Uncanny, strange deja vu...Mark will be the only one who got that one, I think. Anyway, I'm still here, but at the moment, I don't have internet access in my brand-spanking new apartment. Oh yes, moving out from my parents' house ruled, I love my new place. I'll borrow a digicam and get a few pics for any peeps interested. Great job with getting the site back up guys, I missed this place. We probably lost more than a few visitors, but since when did that matter? Now if I could just get my ADSL line soon... Damn slow ISPs!

    I Remember This Place | - 09.27.2001
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    Damn!, its been awhile hasn't it?. Its so good to have [lp] back up and running. Layout looks sharp to. Nothing much to say right now but I wish some one would tell me what they think of Michael Jordan's Return to the NBA? on the forums, no one seems to care but me I think :(.
    One last thing. No need to thank me for getting [lp] hosted here either...just kidding, I only wanted to have the site back online since we got royally screwed by AtomicRhino...bastards!.

    Chris, you are, have always been and will probably always be da man!

    Hmmm | - 09.27.2001
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    The server clock is 15 minutes ahead of the correct time, some one should change that. And if anyone knows who this fine lady is, let us know.

    Happy Birthday. | - 09.27.2001
    archived news - up
    Yes, a little late I know, but when was I ever punctual.

    Yes, well as you can see everything is pretty much to normal, so have a browse around and whatever, let me know if you spot anything un-toward. The forums will be back shortly, possibly IkonBoard, more likely WebBBS. As with counter, not sure about poll might give it it's only little window GSN style and basically totally rip that concept as we'd planned to do a few years ago for Tumsun. The story of my premiership, "can't be arsed".

    Oh, and the sidebar will shortly be replaced with some js that looks uncannily like it was the stuff used on an old WI layout, but it wasn't. Just to clarify.

    Also, [!] a star candid and EXCLUSIVE* interview with the one, the only, Lion. Still need to parse it actually, but that'll be done tomorrow probably.

    Feels good to be back anyway. If anyone hasn't got their news info then ICQ me, though i did send it out a few weeks back [heh].

    *[lp] Inc reserves the right to use the word "exclusive" as defined by aforemention organistion. "Exclusive" is deemed to be definted, in this instance, as freely avaliable to anyone with an internet connection and half a fucking brain

    I'm bored | - 09.27.2001
    archived news - up
    And i've still got all these visio diagrams to get ready for work tomorrow. If there's one thing that instills fear in me its doing visio diagrams.

    Remember Kassy? Remember how SK really liked her? Remember when she told everyone that she was never a her? Remember how even after he came out, Kassy would still play a major role in this community?

    haha. I'm so easily amused.

    In other news, i'm 19 now and am yet to recieve a message. We're doing well so far!


    Someone has been messing with the FTP | - 09.27.2001
    archived news - up
    ... and not telling me!

    I turn 19 in a few minutes. I know that you don't care. Basically, the point of this message is to let you know that I dont not want to recieve "Happy Birthday Mike! :)" ICQ messages because of this exciting event. I can't think of anything more heartless and thoughtless then someone sending a Happy Birthday [inser name here]! icq message. The receiver knows that you just did it because ICQ told you to, and you know that you just did it because icq told you to. So just dont. thanks.

    And for those who cared, the most notable present i will recieve to commemorate 19 years of existance is/was a minidisc (sony mz-r500, and yes - it does make my penis erect) however i've had that for a few months now.

    On another note, i really despise ops / ircops who kick / kill people who disagree with them in some kind of ego boosting power trip. You know who you are. Karma is watching you. ph33r.

    Mike Has something important to say | - 09.27.2001
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    After enjoying a quite lager or two, I ventured home and joined #cnc (something that i've been doing a bit lately - sif i have a life) and read of 'new developments as was as WS fansites are concered.' Intrigued by such a sensationalist statement, I ventured to Maniacs Empire's E&B site (which i'd never been to before, the thought of creating a site for a game, just because you like a game by the same developer in another genre sounds rediculous to me...) and read of something really quite concerning.

    As im sure you're about to read here first ([lp] - the source for the latest news on the cnc community!) Westwood have actually asked that crew of monkies (™ Maniac) to adhere to a set of certain rules that the site had to follow to remain an official site. Read Kellyx's account of what happened there (or just skim over it... i did.) It's the only thing written by KellyX that i've agreed with.

    My reaction - Westwood are fucking morons.

    I simply cant fucking belive what ww are trying to do here. The amount of time the webmasters put in for their games is really quite incredible and for them to act like this is just unbelievable. Every one of kellyx's 5 points are ones i totally agree with, and are ones that are also quite reasonable. furthermore, its all stuff i've been saying for two years now - i never realised it would ever get this bad.

    Westwood sucks as far as fans go. anyone that was around when Erik Yeo was will tell you that. WW's attitude to webmasters these days is to buy them of with expensive trips and tons of promotional material (a few years ago, you'd be lucky to get one copy of a game, a t shirt and the press cd, these days webmasters are given boxes of games...) If you all, as webmasters of WW sites continue along happily you really have just become the whore, being pimped for all your worth and shame on you for that.

    Putting a quick update on your site isnt enough. Close your site down with an article about what is happening, or at least refuse to udate until WW clarify / take back their position. I cant belive any of you would stand by while something like this happened.

    There's my two cents on the matter... actually, to be honest with you, I only posted that so that Kellyx wouldadd us to his list of supporting sites, after all links = hits = add views = money for me!!@!$!@%#!#!#%!#

    I've added a new game - cursor love bunny, you no love bunny.

    Oh yeah, and just to reaffirm, close you site!

    Ok, that it. k thx.


    Update: (4 hours later) Not only does being up late allow you to watch reruns of roswell and party of 5 (reason enough, i say) but it means that I can be informed when i get something wrong. it'll be easier just to quote Maniac, but basically, just replace Westwood agove with 'the earth and beyond team.'

    Maniac: what was done was only done by the E&B team

    Maniac: not westwood

    Maniac: so dont blame it on ww as a whole

    Attack on America | - 09.12.2001
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    I'm very sorry that the site hasn't been up for awhile, and for this I strongly apologize. Even now you see that the site's images have yet to be done due to the recent events in my life (friend in car accident, 4.8 earthquake in the Los Angeles Area, and other situations). And now to add to the recent tragedies in not only my life but in all of americans is the reporting that of 8:50 am EST in Manhattan, two Boeing 757 airliners filled with people were targeted against the two tallest buildings in the USA - The World Trade Towers. And not long after that, another plane hitting the Military Section of the Pentagon. A 4th plane, whom crashed near Pittsburg, PA, was determined to have been aimed to the White House - although it didn't reach its destination, Thank God.

    Still, an estimated 25,000+ people in both New York and Washington DC have died due to these terrorist attacks. Many more thousands having been injured by either jumping from an untold hieghts in the Towers to escape the burning flames or those injured trying to rescue those. Either way, this act of terrorism has stirred up a lot of fears and anger in America - and for one I am very upset and thinking about whether or not to enlist my services where needed, be it the armed forces or donating blood.

    I will try to get what I can up on this site as time forbids me. My apologizes once again...

    Until then, if you would like to learn more about these acts of cowardice against the United States please visit one of the major news organizations on the web such as CNN, MSNBC, or ABC.

    Our prayers and wishes are with the families who have suffered grave losses today and in the following weeks to come.

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